If you know me well you know I express myself best through writing. Whether its happiness, praying, or sadness. I love to write. Writing is how I cope. This post is mainly for me as I grieve. 
My grandma, better known as Granny passed away on Friday. She was known as granny to everyone, but I am proud to say she was my Granny. If you ever met her, even for 10 minutes, you know exactly what her character was and how kind she was. If you never had the privilege to meet her, let me share with you about her.
First off funerals are hard. Duh everyone knows that. I have been lucky to only attend a handful of these in my life. The last big one was my grandpa was when I was 6. 6, believe me, I had no idea what was going on. This was the first one that really hit me, open caskets- not a fan. That is not how I want to remember my granny. It was a nice service though, a LOT of wonderful things were said about my grandma. A lot of people loved her and that was shown in words, flowers and a packed house. She is a beautiful woman who will be missed dearly.
This is something I wrote a couple hours after her death, while rocking my sweet baby. Like I said, I write to cope. I was very honored when my dad asked if he could read it at the service. Honored and scared. I knew I wouldn't be able to control my emotions once he read it. And nope I sure didn't. Here is the best description I have of this beautiful woman.
"A beautiful lady met Jesus last night. My grandma, my Granny was a beautiful soul. She was kind and generous. She loved everyone she met. She didn't care what you've done or what you looked like, she loved you with an unconditional love that she proved over and over. She was the type of person that literally would give you the shirt off her back If you needed it, the money from her pocket and the food from her pantry. She made the best gravy in the world. I will continue my quest to make it like her but I know it will never be the same. She was talented, she could crochet, paint, sew, make handmade dolls, quilt. Many of these things I will always cherish. You may have walked into her humble house as a stranger but you left as family and with a full belly. A very full belly. She has left behind many people who love her. Wonderful kids, many grand kids, great grand kids and great great grand kids. She leaves quite a legacy.
Last night, she was reunited with the love of her life, my Pappaw, the man she has missed everyday for 25 years. That had to be quite reunion! I can imagine that when she met Jesus that she asked him "are you hungry? What would you like?" I hope He said yes because she sure can cook, hopefully a big bowl of Granny gravy and pile of biscuits is what He got.
I'm glad my boys met her, and although they won't remember it, I will. Granny you will be missed by many, thank you for all the love, hugs, stories, and memories. Hug my Pappaw for me. It is an absolute honor to be your grand daughter. I love you. "
Here are some things my grandma taught me.
Granny Gravy- she made the best gravy! Oh I will miss it! Gravy, biscuits and a pile of bacon. I was always so full after breakfast and not eat until supper. One of my favorite memories is sitting at her kitchen table as she told me the directions and then gave me a cast iron skillet, because it can only be made in that. My aunt also has given me first hand lessons. This is the trick with gravy, that I still haven't timed right. When you think "it's burning" it's not keep cooking. The second time you think "ok it's really burning", its NOT keep cooking, then you think "oh my it's going to catch on fire" then it's ready, add the milk!
Serve your family. My grandma had a servants heart. She was always helping others. She LOVED her family and was always serving them. Mainly with food. She would cook you anything you wanted. That big breakfast I just described was one of three huge meals you will have in her house. She makes everyone their favorites when you are around. She always took care of her family, whatever their needs were. She was a mother of 4, grandmother of 8, great grandmother of 16, great great grandmother of 2!
Forgiveness- she forgave like Christ. That seventy times seven, she believed and did. There were many time people would hurt her and I was always shocked she would move past it and forget. I would think they're going to hurt you again. But she truly forgave and forgot. What an amazing quality.
Remember Birthdays- she would always call and sing Happy Birthday. It always made me feel special. Who will do it now? :( I think Sam should take it over.
Reuse- she is from a time where they grew their own food and cooked it from scratch and used every bit of everything. They didn't need to recycle because they used it all. I will always remember don't throw any food in the trash. It was always put out to feed animals. If there was any trash, it was burned, not thrown out.
Dinner- breakfast is breakfast, lunch is dinner and dinner is supper. Confused? Yep I always was. Why would you plan dinner before lunch? Because dinner is lunch. Duh.
Love- she loved like Christ. Overflowing, unconditional, unpreduice love. She poured loved on everyone she met. She made everyone feel like part of the family. I never met anyone who didn't love Helen Carpenter.
Humility- she came from a very humble time. My grandparents were one of a kind. The pastor at her service said there was no one like them. My granny often said "after my generation is gone, this world is ruined. They can't even boil water". Sadly she is true. She came from a time where hard work was the key to everything. You cooked for your family, you provided for them. My mom and dad also did the same, three meals a day on the table, work hard for your loved ones. I hope I can carry that out. I hope I can instill in my boys the values my parents and grandparents did. Hopefully my boys will help this generation. Hard work is still important, you aren't entitled to anything. Work and earn it.
Give- ask and you shall receive. My grandma gave, gave, gave. Whether you asked or not. If you asked she gave you more than you asked for. Many times we would go to visit and come back with something- money, a doll, food, a recliner, a rocker. Small or big she would give it. She bought extra groceries in case someone needed it.
If its a dollar you need it- my granny would have loved dollar tree. She loved garage sales and always found lots of treasures. :). She one time bought 5 clock radios, because they were a dollar. She didn't need them, but she said they were only a dollar. Haha. I thought this was always funny.
Dream- you are never too old to dream. She always was planning, to do things, to go places. Even in the last few months she would say I'm coming to San Antonio. I want to see y'all. We knew she couldn't come but she never stopped dreaming.
Put God first- she was a strong Christian woman and you knew it. I know she is dancing in heaven. You never had to doubt her faith. She showed it everywhere she went and to anyone she met. I hope people can say that about me.
Pray without ceasing - she was always praying. I would hear stop on a conversation and shout "Jesus" or "Halleljuah". She would pray over someone. Always praying. I admire her praying out loud. I pray a lot, constantly throughout the day, but I have little courage to do it out loud.
Show Gratitude- she was always thankful for anything she got. She would exclaim "this is the most beautiful gift in the world" every time she got a gift. She truly appreciated anything you gave her. It probably came from having so little for so long. Her gratitude was always genuine.
No one leaves hungry- you walked in her house, be prepared to eat and eat and eat. No one could say they were hungry after being in her home.
Granny was a remarkable woman and will be missed dearly by many many people. You will forever live in our hearts and I hope I can leave a mark like you did.
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