Boys and Clothes

I live with boys so I'm curious if this happens to all kids. My children cannot keep their clothes on! If they're not begging to take them off they are sneaking them off when I'm out of the room. Jman goes potty comes back with no pants. RC has learned to take his own off too. He wakes up in the morning and I find him naked. J seriously just did a dance as he pulled his shirt off. We played water last night. I don't put swimsuits on because there's no point for a few minutes of hose time. They're in the pool helping each other strip. The repair man came the other day and there they were, greeting him diaper and undies. He just chuckled and say I have a boy too. But we make him stay dressed. Haha. Good one. Wait til there's more  than one. 

What is going on? Is this a boy thing? A kid thing? I have no desire to do this. I never in walked into my room in college and found my roommates taking clothes off. So I'm guessing it's a little boy thing. Sometimes if I have the energy I make them stay dressed. Today is one of those that I do not. So Jman is not dressed. (The rule is at least underwear on) when RC comes down soon he will be asking to strip too. Sometimes I laugh so hard and would take pictures, but we made a deal as parents we would never post pics like that. Even as kids they deserve their privacy. 

Seriously. What is the deal? 

Things often said in our house:

Where did your clothes go? I went potty. 

Put your pants back on. 

Where is your shirt?

Yes you have to get dressed. 

Your friends are coming over put clothes on!

Your friends don't want to see you naked. Why not? 

I can pee in the yard, but not if Lily is here. 

It's naked time! 

Gramma doesn't want to see me naked? NO ONE wants to see you naked. 

Mommy watch this dance! 

RC where are your clothes? Tada! 

Did you undress him? No he can do it all by himself. 

Please tell me I am not alone in this. 

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The day my world changed.

I love the app time hop. I love seeing old pictures and comparing them to today. Well today reminded how 4 years ago my life, my heart, my future, my destiny shifted. 

No it wasn't the day I became a mom. It was the day I became a working mom. 

This photo popped up with "Looks like someone missed me too". The previous status that day "Lord please let the hardest day ever pass quickly" 

I went back to work that day. After five beautiful months with my buddy, I had to wake him up, dress him, pack his bag, rip heart from chest, place in car seat, send him with my husband (because I sure wasn't going to take him) and ...go...to...work. That was the plan. Always was. Go back to teaching. So I did. 

This day four years ago went by quickly. I had friends to laugh with. An awesome new principal who brought in the drum cafe that day. I worked as much as I could in my classroom. And as soon as that clock hit 3, I ran out the door and rushed to my parents, to get my heart back. So happy to be back together!

Phew I survived. And then I had to do again the next day. And the next. And the next. 

It's pretty hard to function without a heart. Especially when you're a teacher. And your job is giving your heart, energy, every bit of your being to kids. I was used to this job, the demand. I had been doing it six years. But this year was different. My heart was not there. It wasn't broken. It just wasn't there but was with this little boy at my parents. Try teaching like that. It's pretty impossible. I promise,  you no longer make a difference. Everyday is torture. People said it would get easier. Liars!  I am very careful when new mommas start taking their babies to childcare to not say it gets easier. Because for me it never did! I usually say "it gets different" 

One day I got the courage to tell my supportive, loving husband, I can't do it anymore. And he said ok. 

Four years ago I started the journey to a new destiny, a new dream. One that took me by surprise. One that made me happier than I can express. 

My heart goes out to all you mommas who are struggling. Whether it's leaving your baby when you don't want to or maybe it's not feeling fulfilled in your life as momma and needing more.  Do what's best for you so you can be the best momma for your kids. 

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A day of firsts

First loose tooth, first tooth fairy visit and the first time mom disappoints you. 

Sunday Jman lost his first tooth! What?! 

Jman is 4. He woke up saturday and said my tooth is weird. What we found was a very loose tooth. I don't know if had been loose awhile or if it's seriously went from fine to about to fall out.

 I started to google because he's 4. 4! This can't be right, he must have hit it. The one next to it is loose too. Yep he must of got hurt. He would have told us that though. What is going on? Found a couple sites that say the age teeth fall out is related to how early or late teeth arrive. This guy got his first tooth the day he turned 4 months old. Again somehing I felt in his mouth and found a tooth. No previous warning signs. Just there. 

Thankfully a couple months ago I had ordered this super cute tooth pillow because it's Batman. Thinking I wouldn't need it for several months. 

We had talked about it before so he was aware teeth fall out. It's a sign of growing up. I had a student once who had a major meltdown when her first tooth fell out. She had no idea this would happen. She was understandably freaked out! She thought she was falling apart. So glad we had talked to Jman so this reaction wouldn't happen. 

He kept playing with it all day, I told him to leave it alone so it didn't fall out in the baseball sand during his game.

Sunday while driving around he shouts "My tooth fell out!" We pull over so we could see and he says "I dropped it". Awesome. Just imagine how hard it is to find a teeny baby tooth in a car floor board that is full of cracker, popcorn and who knows what else crumbs. So there I was kneeling on the hot pavement searching for that teeny tiny itsy bitsy tooth. Yes I found it! I immediately put it in my wallet and zip it up. The day goes. 

The tooth fairy, yes we did the tooth fairy. Since Santa and the Easter bunny do not enter our house, it was asked if the tooth fairy would come. We talked about that. I did it as a kid but always knew it was my mom. It was more of getting a surprise for your tooth, not the fairy itself. Just like we do easter baskets but they are from us, Christmas presents are from us. We don't deny our children the treats and surprises, but they come from us, not fictional characters. 

So Jman was about to go to bed so I went to get his tooth so we could put it in his pillow. And IT. IS. GONE! DISAPPERED! I immediately start to panic. How do I tell my precious child, I his mom, can't find his tooth? 

I dump my purse and it's not there. I dump the back pack. It's not there. I searched my wallet 4 times. It's not there. Jman asks daddy to come help. Daddy searches. It's not there. I searched the car. Its not there. Feeling defeated I tell Jman it's time for bed. He's asks what about my tooth? I can't get a surprise if there's no tooth? I told him it would be ok and the tooth fairy would understand. He goes to bed on the brink of tears. I'm in tears.  Mainly because it hit me I lost his first tooth. That first tooth that grew in my first baby's little mouth. I wasn't so upset that I couldn't keep his tooth or about the tooth fairy. But I lost his first little tooth. A piece of that baby that is so grown up now. Jman went to sleep and the search continued. I went through the bags, the car again. Next was the trash. I had just swept so just maybe it got swept up. I dug through trash for my little boy. It was not there. 

Defeated. I accepted that it was gone. I had let down my little boy. I had disappointed him. 

Of course there was a surprise and note the next day. He says he understands. People  ask about the tooth fairy and he's very, eh it's no big deal. Which is fine with me. I don't want him to be really into it. I'm determined to save that next tooth. 

I still feel awful I let him down. It was the first time. It will not be the last. I'm sorry buddy that's a part of life. 

This smile is super cute though. And he thought he looked so funny the first time he saw himself in the mirror. 

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Wild Thing

Before RC was born I bought a sign for his nursery that said "Let the Wild Rumpus Start". I love Where The Wild Things Are and thought it would be a cute addition. I had no idea that A wild thing was growing in my tummy. Perhaps we should have named him Max. 

Life with RC is certainly more adventurous, exciting, keep you on your toes, about to have a heart attack kind of life. Today has certainly been one of those days. Well actually it's everyday. 

Disclaimer: Now for the record I call my boy stinker pot. It's a term of endearment. My dad called me that growing up and even wrote me a song. So when I say it I don't mean it for others to call him that. Also I say he's crazy, well a lot. This is another thing only I can say. I don't in anyway want him to grow up hearing he's crazy and think that he is. It's more of you're so silly and adventurous you're crazy. So I actually get offended when others call him these words. 

Here is a day in the life of RC (today to be exact) 

Look at this face. It's so sweet 

and cute. It's the eyes. They get me everytime. 

Today we went to CFA for free breakfast. I actually hate taking the boys there because RCS likes to run out of the play place and take off. He doesn't  do it anywhere else. He slips out the door. Looks at me like this 

And then I know he's off. He's a slick one this guy. 

We proceeded to target. I don't buckle my child in because he can slip out of a buckle faster than he runs out of the play place. He proceeded to sit on top of the back of the seat where his back should be the whole time. This is where I get the crazy looks and gasps from people who are nosy. I promise I am not a bad mom. I am fully aware of what he's doing and he's going to be just fine. 

Once he is in the car he can climb in his seat and out and to the front seat so he can "drive" before I can grab his shirt 

This was yesterday but it happens all the time. We get home and he decides flipping over the back of the chair is some good fun. Ok this was actually Jmans doing but he followed him and flipped like  he was an expert. 

He's not as graceful as Jman. About this time of day he declares he wants milk, which is code for I want to nap NOW. Obviously he is exhausted (so is momma)

After nap RC was trying to go upstairs with Jman but the gate was locked. All of a sudden I hear thump thump thump all the way down the stairs. And he had fallen all the way down. Without a scratch or bruise. He was only screaming because he still wasn't upstairs. Once he was upstairs he was fine. 

Later he went in the pantry, probably for applesauce, and found my stash of confetti eggs and cracked 4 of them. Then says "uh oh uh oh"

Then the boys wanted to paint. I covered the entire table with paper and in two seconds RC does this. 

He is his own canvas. It's not about the product but the process. Paper is an obstacle. Skin and the actual table make much better mediums that silly boring paper. 

The boys went to wash their hands after painting. I was making dinner. I knew this was a bad decision. You never let RC in the bathroom without an adult. As I was thinking this I hear " mommy RC is doing something bad" I heard the toilet being flushed over and over. I didn't want to stop making my dinner, knowing the mess I was going to see would require immediate attention and I would have to postpone dinner. So I hurried and finished, threw it in the oven and then looked.  Did you know that in less than two minutes a toilet can flood the bathroom and half the kitchen? Well that's what happens when a wild thing shoves a full roll of toilet  paper in the toilet. So after cleaning up that mess and Trying to calm myself he comes running "Momma" with that big cheeky grin and hugs me. And momma forgets it all. The grin that looks like this. 

The rest of the day was calm. I think he used his wild up for today. Tomorrow we go again. So when you see I am always exhausted this is why! 

Here are 5 things I know to be true about RC: 

1. This guy is passionate! He never misses an opportunity. He loves hard, plays hard, and crashes hard. He is not bad or trying to get in trouble. He is curious and likes to cause mischief and that's it. Maybe we should have named homes Curious George. He's just like him always trying to figure things out not meaning to cause trouble.  My stinkerpot.

 

2. God gave him an extra shot of cute. That way when he is causing all this mischief of one kind or another and Momma's blood starts to boil- he looks at me with those eyes and I forget. Seriously it melts away. 

3. I wanted boys. I prayed for boys. My heart wanted boys. I'm not sure I would make a good girl mom. I think I do a good job as a boy mom. So when I prayed for boys. God said OK you asked for it. He gave me two very much ALL boys including this wild thing. He makes life wonderful and exciting and frightening some times. And I am so thankful every minute for him. Even when I'm mopping up toilet water. 

4. I love this little guy fiercely! I would not change anything about his wild spirit. He is so incredibly smart and amazes me daily. He loves to love and cuddle! One minute he is running circles around you and the next he is snuggled in your lap. 

5.  Jman and RC are very different boys. They both are very all boy and love all things boy. But they are different in their own special ways. Jman has never flooded a toilet! Haha

Look at this snuggle bug! 

I love everything about this guy! I can't believe he will be two so soon. 

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The Kitchen Reveal

For a long time I have had a dream to make a diner kitchen and wanted coca cola everywhere, with lots of red and turquoise. Red I love red! Obviously if you know me at all. So I started collecting things and asked for red kitchen appliances since college. Then I met this guy and we were dating and he says you probably will think I'm crazy but I want a diner table someday for my kitchen. And that friends is the moment I knew Kevin was the one. Ok maybe not exactly but it certainly added to it. 😊

We got married and his parents bought us this for our kitchen. 

It came with 4 chairs and my wonderful Aunt Jan found me two more chairs identical that are actually vintage chairs! Our first home had a very nice kitchen that had been redone so my dream didn't really come true there. We moved to our current home and it needed fresh paint everywhere so a great chance to do It. We are slowly updating things in our home. So this year the kitchen was up. Here's the before picture 

We had the wonderful and talented Mary come redo our cabinets. If you have any work to be refinished and painted she is your girl! She spent about a week painting them from this blah brown and brought them to life with this gorgeous color. 

We updated our appliances. Which Mary and her awesome husband helped with! Added some awesome knobs. And by awesome I mean totally fabulous knobs which really tie it all together. 

We painted the walls turquoise and added some more red decorations, some more coca cola.  And we have our diner kitchen!  It's just as cool as I have ever dreamed. Now all my red really pops and it looks awesome. I just need some black and white tile now. May not be everyone's taste but it's what we love. It's my favorite room in the house right now! Here's some pictures, that don't really do it justice.

I made the "eat" sign and added the arrow. 

This sign hung in my Granny's kitchen for so long. It's my favorite coca cola memorabilia I have.  

So come to the diner and have a milkshake. You will have to bring it from Sonic though. 😉

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Summer of 1991

I've been In a funk for a few days now for several reasons. 

One, this jewelry business is stressing me out. I've been working so hard at a certain goal. I was within hours of it and then *poof* it was gone. And that actually messes up my next step. So feeling a little lost. 

Two, one of very good friends told me they are moving! I am so very happy for them and the opportunities but I am so sad. These two mean the world to us and I'm going to miss them so much! 

Three, I am leaving tomorrow for four days and totally dreading it. Honestly I don't want or need a break from my kids. I'm not a mom that likes that. I am good with an hour break every once in a while. I feel like my heart will be left somewhere else. And if you knew me my last year of teaching you know I don't function well without my heart. So four days sounds awful. I also hate flying. Putting me in a box surrounded by people, that I can't get out of and my ears won't pop. Claustrophobic me will want to scream! 

Four, school. Oh my goodness I never thought that deciding on preschool would be so stressful. Where, when, how long, how much and why?? Oh the why? I keep asking myself that and come back to the same decision. I know what my heart is saying and I need to just make the official decision and let it be. 

Five, and here the is the reason for all of the above to be bothering me so. When I get back from my trip Kevin is leaving for two weeks to Mexico. And it's not the fact he'll be gone for two weeks, I can handle that. I will be exhausted and miss him terribly but that is not what is so hard. It's the where. Mexico. And this is why. 

The summer of 1991 was the worst, most painful and traumatic for my family. Only a handful of people truly know what those three months did to us. I was 9, but I remember every moment as if it was yesterday. Probably since I was so young and this was all so overwhelming that I relate a particular place to the pain. Which makes me not want to ever go they or willingly send someone there. My brother Sam was on a church mission trip in Mexico, a trip I very vividly remember my parents objecting to. He was 14. My oldest brother and I were home when my mom stormed in the house early from work. She said "Sam was in an accident, in the hospital, two broken arms and no one is sure where at." That moment things changed. My parents quickly packed planning to get there as fast as they could, with me in tow. Matt was old enough to stay with a friend. When I was 9, I was incredibly shy. A family I barely knew said I could stay with them and so I did. I hated spending the night with people, still do. My parents left and I was alone. Not with my big brother or my parents wondering if my brother was alive. As information trickled in I heard "Sam is unconscious. Sam is coming in out of comas. Sam this Sam that  ". Things as a 9 year old I didn't understand, I was alone and scared. Finally my parents returned to the states with my brother. He was air ambulanced home where they discovered he had a massive head injury, two broken arms and several other broken bones. He had been thrown out of the van and knocked unconscious. The doctors said that they didn't even treat him in Mexico for his head injury. Only his arms. They were going to do surgery on his arms.  It was a miracle he didn't have permanent brain damage for how long he was left untreated. They wouldn't  release him to the states unless he was air ambulanced home. Thankfully the police association helped and got him home safe where he was properly treated. He was in the hospital for weeks. I remember waiting for him to be home. I remember the way I felt when I saw him for the first time. I remember being told don't cry in front of him. I remember eating a fun dip at those peoples house I stayed at. I remember my big brother packed my clothes and nothing matched. I remember how many people visited us in the hospital. I remember the moment the driver showed up to the hospital and confronted my dad. I remember the rehab center we spent our summer at. I remember being so scared I would never see Sam again and never be able to fight with him. I remember George Gervin coming to meet Sam at the hospital. I remember how Sam was so hurt but still so funny. I remember. I remember. I remember. It all happened in Mexico. Of course it's not necessarily that place but yet I don't really want to go there or have anyone I love there. What if something happens? My brother could have died there. I don't want Kevin to go there! 

The summer didn't end there. That summer my oldest brother was held at gun point in a robbery at work. I don't know much about that because he understandably never talked about that much. But just like that he could have been taken to and by the grace of God he was not! 

And again later that same summer on Labor Day, the very last day of summer we almost lost our mom. My dad was mowing and my mom came out to bring him goggles. At that moment my dad hit a rock and that rock was sliced and hit my mom in the neck. Which cut her neck open. We flew to the hospital that luckily was down the street. The doctors told us that rock was less than an inch from hitting her main artery and that would have killed her. Oh my goodness! That is the reason when anyone, ANYONE, is mowing we do not go outside. The boys and I are never around when Kevin or a neighbor is mowing. It is so dangerous!

That summer was full of trauma! It was also full of miracles. The fact that my family is all here is a miracle. We very easily that summer could have lost three people. I am eternally grateful that all of those stories did not go the wrong way. But I remember it all and it all started with Mexico. A place I will never think fondly of. It could have been anywhere but that is where it was. And I am internally a mess that my husband will be there. That mess is starting to show on the outside. I feel so uneasy and the need to be protective. I can't do that when I'm states away for four days. I can't feel safe or secure away from my heart and then I return and have to send my husband to the one place that brings up so much pain. The place that changed our lives so long ago. I feel like that 9 year old girl again, the one who was so scared and alone.

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Everytime I crack an egg, I think of you!

Sunday marks a month of my Mammaw's passing. Seems weird it's already been a month. I've been dreaming about her a lot lately, very odd dreams. The last year was a gift. My grandparents moved from the small town of Arp 300 miles away to live with my parents in San Antonio. A gift because we only saw them a handful of times a year being so far, all of my life. Now they were 20 miles away and I saw them every week! What a precious gift, time.  I lost my Granny just 6 months ago so it truly made this time special.  I got to hug her every week and watch her snuggle my boys. I sat by her in the swing holding her hand almost every week.  I watched her get a little more weak every week. I had to see her hurt. I feel since I saw her so much more recently and watched her fade that I had a harder time processing this. So I decided its time to share with you this beautiful woman who now dances down the streets of gold. 

When I was a kid I would tell you her name was Mimall. Because that's how I said it with a L. In my head that's really her name. 

But for spelling purposes Mammaw looks nicer. 

My Mammaw was a beautiful lady. She loved Jesus more than anything. She had a faith that we should all strive to have. A faith that could move mountains. I will always remember her talking about Jesus and sharing her faith. Even in those last few days she cried to Him. I know without a doubt she is with Jesus in a much better place. She raised a family that is faithful. 

 She loved her family! She always said she raised the best three kids in the world. And one of those is my mom. That lady is a precious gift! She always got down in the floor and played with you, especially tickling you and making you laugh. Whether she felt good or not. She could crack the funniest jokes that you didn't quite expect. She would say things like "I'm full as a tick" after dinner.  She loved babies.  I cherish getting to see her love my Reed this past year. She always wanted to hold and snuggle that little guy   It was sad the day she realized she wasn't strong enough to hold him anymore. But she still giggled and made him smile.  I will always remember her saying "woowoo". Something I find myself saying often. She always smelled of White Diamonds. She loved to touch you, always her hand on your hand or arm or around your back. Such a light, loving touch. She could be firm with you and tell you to sit still while she combed those rats out of your hair. She wasn't afraid to tell you what she thought. 

 There are many things I learned from her through my mom. Like how to make the best macaroni and cheese and mashed potatoes. She taught me how to properly crack an egg and get that little chick out of there. Jman always cracks eggs now and everytime he says "get that yucky out, get the chick". So everytime I crack an egg I think of her. She taught me make sure to clean your house before company comes over.  

She was a woman of simple means and possessions. You don't need a lot of stuff, just what you need. And as long as you rearrange often it always looks fresh and new. She always wanted to look her best and have hair fixed. She loved Dr Pepper (it runs in the blood) and always washed her can before drinking from it. She loved to be surrounded by pictures of her family. Probably where my mom gets it and where I get it. 

Mammaw was unbelievably strong. She was sick for many years. Most of my life I remember her being sick. But would you know it? No. She could hide it. She overcame such pain and suffering and you wouldn't even know it. She could put on a smile and always make you think she felt great, even when she wasn't. At times that pain may come through in words but that is understandable. 

She is no longer in pain. She is healed and at peace. She is in a much better place and will be waiting for us and will shout "woowoo" when we get there. You will be missed always Mammaw. Thank you for always loving me and sharing your unwavering faith. I sleep with the blanket you gave me every night! Love you always. 

Their 50th wedding anniversary. 

The grand kids and great grand kids. Minus 4 great grand babies not born yet. 

My fave picture of us. She had just been tickling me. 

Three Generations

My Granny, Pappaw and Mammaw all eating what? You guessed it Granny Gravy!!  

Miss both these beautiful women. Miss my Pappaw who went back up north to live. I got used to seeing that sweet guy all the time. 

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