Summer of 1991

I've been In a funk for a few days now for several reasons. 

One, this jewelry business is stressing me out. I've been working so hard at a certain goal. I was within hours of it and then *poof* it was gone. And that actually messes up my next step. So feeling a little lost. 

Two, one of very good friends told me they are moving! I am so very happy for them and the opportunities but I am so sad. These two mean the world to us and I'm going to miss them so much! 

Three, I am leaving tomorrow for four days and totally dreading it. Honestly I don't want or need a break from my kids. I'm not a mom that likes that. I am good with an hour break every once in a while. I feel like my heart will be left somewhere else. And if you knew me my last year of teaching you know I don't function well without my heart. So four days sounds awful. I also hate flying. Putting me in a box surrounded by people, that I can't get out of and my ears won't pop. Claustrophobic me will want to scream! 

Four, school. Oh my goodness I never thought that deciding on preschool would be so stressful. Where, when, how long, how much and why?? Oh the why? I keep asking myself that and come back to the same decision. I know what my heart is saying and I need to just make the official decision and let it be. 

Five, and here the is the reason for all of the above to be bothering me so. When I get back from my trip Kevin is leaving for two weeks to Mexico. And it's not the fact he'll be gone for two weeks, I can handle that. I will be exhausted and miss him terribly but that is not what is so hard. It's the where. Mexico. And this is why. 

The summer of 1991 was the worst, most painful and traumatic for my family. Only a handful of people truly know what those three months did to us. I was 9, but I remember every moment as if it was yesterday. Probably since I was so young and this was all so overwhelming that I relate a particular place to the pain. Which makes me not want to ever go they or willingly send someone there. My brother Sam was on a church mission trip in Mexico, a trip I very vividly remember my parents objecting to. He was 14. My oldest brother and I were home when my mom stormed in the house early from work. She said "Sam was in an accident, in the hospital, two broken arms and no one is sure where at." That moment things changed. My parents quickly packed planning to get there as fast as they could, with me in tow. Matt was old enough to stay with a friend. When I was 9, I was incredibly shy. A family I barely knew said I could stay with them and so I did. I hated spending the night with people, still do. My parents left and I was alone. Not with my big brother or my parents wondering if my brother was alive. As information trickled in I heard "Sam is unconscious. Sam is coming in out of comas. Sam this Sam that  ". Things as a 9 year old I didn't understand, I was alone and scared. Finally my parents returned to the states with my brother. He was air ambulanced home where they discovered he had a massive head injury, two broken arms and several other broken bones. He had been thrown out of the van and knocked unconscious. The doctors said that they didn't even treat him in Mexico for his head injury. Only his arms. They were going to do surgery on his arms.  It was a miracle he didn't have permanent brain damage for how long he was left untreated. They wouldn't  release him to the states unless he was air ambulanced home. Thankfully the police association helped and got him home safe where he was properly treated. He was in the hospital for weeks. I remember waiting for him to be home. I remember the way I felt when I saw him for the first time. I remember being told don't cry in front of him. I remember eating a fun dip at those peoples house I stayed at. I remember my big brother packed my clothes and nothing matched. I remember how many people visited us in the hospital. I remember the moment the driver showed up to the hospital and confronted my dad. I remember the rehab center we spent our summer at. I remember being so scared I would never see Sam again and never be able to fight with him. I remember George Gervin coming to meet Sam at the hospital. I remember how Sam was so hurt but still so funny. I remember. I remember. I remember. It all happened in Mexico. Of course it's not necessarily that place but yet I don't really want to go there or have anyone I love there. What if something happens? My brother could have died there. I don't want Kevin to go there! 

The summer didn't end there. That summer my oldest brother was held at gun point in a robbery at work. I don't know much about that because he understandably never talked about that much. But just like that he could have been taken to and by the grace of God he was not! 

And again later that same summer on Labor Day, the very last day of summer we almost lost our mom. My dad was mowing and my mom came out to bring him goggles. At that moment my dad hit a rock and that rock was sliced and hit my mom in the neck. Which cut her neck open. We flew to the hospital that luckily was down the street. The doctors told us that rock was less than an inch from hitting her main artery and that would have killed her. Oh my goodness! That is the reason when anyone, ANYONE, is mowing we do not go outside. The boys and I are never around when Kevin or a neighbor is mowing. It is so dangerous!

That summer was full of trauma! It was also full of miracles. The fact that my family is all here is a miracle. We very easily that summer could have lost three people. I am eternally grateful that all of those stories did not go the wrong way. But I remember it all and it all started with Mexico. A place I will never think fondly of. It could have been anywhere but that is where it was. And I am internally a mess that my husband will be there. That mess is starting to show on the outside. I feel so uneasy and the need to be protective. I can't do that when I'm states away for four days. I can't feel safe or secure away from my heart and then I return and have to send my husband to the one place that brings up so much pain. The place that changed our lives so long ago. I feel like that 9 year old girl again, the one who was so scared and alone.

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Everytime I crack an egg, I think of you!

Sunday marks a month of my Mammaw's passing. Seems weird it's already been a month. I've been dreaming about her a lot lately, very odd dreams. The last year was a gift. My grandparents moved from the small town of Arp 300 miles away to live with my parents in San Antonio. A gift because we only saw them a handful of times a year being so far, all of my life. Now they were 20 miles away and I saw them every week! What a precious gift, time.  I lost my Granny just 6 months ago so it truly made this time special.  I got to hug her every week and watch her snuggle my boys. I sat by her in the swing holding her hand almost every week.  I watched her get a little more weak every week. I had to see her hurt. I feel since I saw her so much more recently and watched her fade that I had a harder time processing this. So I decided its time to share with you this beautiful woman who now dances down the streets of gold. 

When I was a kid I would tell you her name was Mimall. Because that's how I said it with a L. In my head that's really her name. 

But for spelling purposes Mammaw looks nicer. 

My Mammaw was a beautiful lady. She loved Jesus more than anything. She had a faith that we should all strive to have. A faith that could move mountains. I will always remember her talking about Jesus and sharing her faith. Even in those last few days she cried to Him. I know without a doubt she is with Jesus in a much better place. She raised a family that is faithful. 

 She loved her family! She always said she raised the best three kids in the world. And one of those is my mom. That lady is a precious gift! She always got down in the floor and played with you, especially tickling you and making you laugh. Whether she felt good or not. She could crack the funniest jokes that you didn't quite expect. She would say things like "I'm full as a tick" after dinner.  She loved babies.  I cherish getting to see her love my Reed this past year. She always wanted to hold and snuggle that little guy   It was sad the day she realized she wasn't strong enough to hold him anymore. But she still giggled and made him smile.  I will always remember her saying "woowoo". Something I find myself saying often. She always smelled of White Diamonds. She loved to touch you, always her hand on your hand or arm or around your back. Such a light, loving touch. She could be firm with you and tell you to sit still while she combed those rats out of your hair. She wasn't afraid to tell you what she thought. 

 There are many things I learned from her through my mom. Like how to make the best macaroni and cheese and mashed potatoes. She taught me how to properly crack an egg and get that little chick out of there. Jman always cracks eggs now and everytime he says "get that yucky out, get the chick". So everytime I crack an egg I think of her. She taught me make sure to clean your house before company comes over.  

She was a woman of simple means and possessions. You don't need a lot of stuff, just what you need. And as long as you rearrange often it always looks fresh and new. She always wanted to look her best and have hair fixed. She loved Dr Pepper (it runs in the blood) and always washed her can before drinking from it. She loved to be surrounded by pictures of her family. Probably where my mom gets it and where I get it. 

Mammaw was unbelievably strong. She was sick for many years. Most of my life I remember her being sick. But would you know it? No. She could hide it. She overcame such pain and suffering and you wouldn't even know it. She could put on a smile and always make you think she felt great, even when she wasn't. At times that pain may come through in words but that is understandable. 

She is no longer in pain. She is healed and at peace. She is in a much better place and will be waiting for us and will shout "woowoo" when we get there. You will be missed always Mammaw. Thank you for always loving me and sharing your unwavering faith. I sleep with the blanket you gave me every night! Love you always. 

Their 50th wedding anniversary. 

The grand kids and great grand kids. Minus 4 great grand babies not born yet. 

My fave picture of us. She had just been tickling me. 

Three Generations

My Granny, Pappaw and Mammaw all eating what? You guessed it Granny Gravy!!  

Miss both these beautiful women. Miss my Pappaw who went back up north to live. I got used to seeing that sweet guy all the time. 

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Why must you make my life so difficult.....

sippy cups!

That's right I'm frustrated with sippy cups. The transition from bottle to cup is so hard. Something about that bottle is so comforting so when you take it away you better find the right cup or cupssssss or there is no hope. RC has been drinking water out of several different kinds of cups for months but none of them will do when it comes to milk. 

So this means you have to buy multiple cups and make several trips to the store to find a sippy cup that will work. And of course you only buy one in case it doesn't work out. And they are all so expensive. Why in the world is one cup $5 or $6? Once you happen to find that one cup he will drink milk out of, you must go back for more, because you only bought one. Well you need at least 4 so you don't have to wash them multiple times a day. And if you're me you think oh let's just buy one more and oh look at this one, maybe he will like it. It's a $1 cheaper, oh here's a two pack, bonus if it works then you already have two? 

 And you know what happens? This! 

You have a stash of several cups and only one, just one is useful to you! This is 7 different kinds of cups! And some of these I have double of.  Sure he might drink water out of them or in a few months take to them, but that doesn't help the pile of cups you have that you can't use now. And where are you supposed to store all these guys? They don't stack so you need a whole cabinet devoted to useless, expensive  sippy cups! And there's still a pile of bottles to use because you only have one sippy cup he can drink milk out of. So make that two cabinets of bottles and sippy cups. 

Well we finally found one that he will drink milk from. There is some hesitation but he finally gives in. I went and bought another one and you know what? 

Somehow we lost the whole top to it? What? How? Who? Ugh!! So now I need to still buy at least 4 more and add more to pile of sippy cups. And this guy is $6.99. Of course he likes it best. Stinker pot! 

Then there's the search for Jman cups. I don't let him drink  from baby sippy cups and want him to use actual nice water cups for kids. I bought him the nice $10 ones at Target and we have lost them twice! My fault too! So we have bought our third one and I guard it with my life. 

Ahhhh sippy cups you drive me crazy!! 

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True Love

I write. I write to heal. I write to cope. I write to love. I write to hope. I write to process. I write to celebrate.  I write to hurt. I write to grieve. I write. 

I usually write anytime something big happens. It's how I deal. I wrote when I almost lost my brother in a terrible car wreck. I wrote when I met Kevin. I wrote when I became a mom.  I wrote when I struggled with Jmans birth, and still do. I wrote when I hated my job. I wrote when I made a life change. I wrote when my Granny  passed. And now I write because I'm grieving again. This post is not about my grandma. Not yet at least. I can't seem to fully put into words my feelings yet. But they're coming. This one is about love. True love. And one of the greatest men ever to walk this earth. 

I have a secret for you. True love is not about flowers, chocolate, gifts, fancy dates, extravagant weddings, big engagement rings, fancy vacations, huge houses and anything else considered "romantic". This right here is romantic and the perfect glimpse of true love. 

Standing beside someone for 60 years! Putting those wedding vows into action. For richer or poorer and sickness and in health, til death do us part.  My grandparents shared 60 years together, 60! They lives a simple life, followed Christ with all their heart and raised a wonderful family. My Pappaw is the sweetest man I know. He is quiet and strong and hard working.  He loves my Mammaw. He stood by her for 60 years. Through the good times and the hard. The really hard. He never waivered from her even through the harsh words that came out of pain, through the times he was pushed away, he was there. In the end that's what mattered, he was there. She knew that, he never left her side. That is true love. 

I hope to be so lucky to spend so many years with Kevin. That at the end of my life, he is there by my side like this. All the gestures or presents or dates will not matter. This does. 

These two set quite the example of how to keep a marriage going. It wasn't always easy or pretty. But it was strong and it was centered in Christ. Thank you for showing true love can last. 

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Adventures in Potty Training

If you had told me a month ago, actually two weeks ago Jman would ever be potty trained, well I would laugh/cry blubber hysterically. Because just two weeks ago I was so down and figured this child would forever wear diapers. Anytime anyone even talked about potty training or how well their child was doing I wanted to curl up and cry. Because my Jman was still throwing crying fits if you just asked "do you need to potty?" But suddenly two weeks later this boy is, dare I say it? Potty trained!! This has been the greatest challenge I've faced as a parent so far. So much failure because he wasn't ready. 

Here's what I've learned in the year and half of off and on potty training adventures. And most if this is from the past two weeks.  Yep it's been that long. We started before RC was born, trying and talking about it. 

1. It's true what everyone, I mean everyone who has gone through this says! One day it just clicks! No he didn't do the magical wake up and say he needed to potty. We had put all potty things related away and stopped talking about it. A month ago, I was done and I told him "diapers are gross. You will not wear another diaper."  Of course there was fit throwing for a few minutes but I ignored him. And that day he chose to start doing it. Granted it was not great and nothing really clicked until last week. We wore a lot of pull ups (which really is a diaper) that week. But this boy needed a push and I finally did it. And last week it clicked. 

2. I next did something I never planned to do either! I put on..... Elmo! Eek I know. I hate, HATE that creepy, red puppet. We do not watch or have anything Elmo in our house. But I was at the point of trying anything. And guess what? That creepy puppet worked. He said the same stuff I've been saying for a year and all of sudden Jman was listening. Now we watched that thing for two days straight and it helped him get interested. So thank you Elmo. 

3. You find yourself saying a lot of ridiculous things outloud. You cheer for the slightest victory. You ask questions no one should ever really have to be asked. You go around saying things like "Potty Power" in silly voices and cheering as you run around the house and in public if needed. You call family members to celebrate! You share the wonderful news at your nephews birthday party for all to know. Things like "batman doesn't want to be peed on" "Spider-man hates being wet" come out of your mouth. Get over it. Potty training makes you sound like a goober. But it's worth it! 

4. Bribes- do it! Who cares what makes your kid go. Do it! We started with stickers and candy and even a treasure box of prizes (yep I'm a teacher) none of them worked!! Except after Elmo. Then he got candy for sitting, going, making his bear go, looking at the silly potty. Whatever he did, he got candy.  He weaned himself off it too. Awesome. Do whatever you need to do. Our pediatrician even tried shaming. She told him things I've been thinking like "Jman you look like a 4 year old. People think you're 4 and don't potty!" Yep truth. I love our ped. Shaming actually doesn't help though. What really stuck with him was "diapers are gross!" Which he says all the time now. And folks pull up are a diaper. There's no tricking your child there. 

5. Your child will decide it's the right time, right after you buy a giant box of diapers. So I have a box of size 6 diapers with only one used. I know I should keep it for RC but honestly I don't want to look at it for two years and want it gone. 

6. I never thought I would love folding underwear but I do! If it means no more diapers. 

7. Babies throw in a whole other challenge. Imagine doing everything to help one, while the baby repeatedly crawls in and touches the toilet, or starts splashing water everywhere. You can't close the door because who knows what they'll do when the door is shut. You must move baby, help J, move baby and keep repeating. And wash babys hands much more frequently than potty training child. 

8.  No toilet is the same. Everywhere you go they are different heights or sizes. It's quite ridiculous. Thank goodness Jman is tall and it hasn't presented a problem so far. I'm curious how Saturday will go at soccer where there are nasty port a potties. 

9. Pottying is a super power in our house. Jman is officially a super hero! 

10. Get comfortable with naked, especially boys. We spent the first 2 days naked to make things easier. Now he  conviently forgets to put clothes back on after he's done. It's a new battle around the house. 

11. Get out of the house and forget those silly pull ups. Do it. Take the risk. You will be surprised how well they do. First full week in underwear and maybe one or two accidents. Boom. Potty Trained. 

So proud of my Jman. A day I never thought would come has. He chose to do it when he was ready and it's been easy. The months of hair pulling (mine not his) tears and frustrations were not worth it. Here's hoping I remember this in a year when it comes back around for RC. 

Anyone want a box of diapers? 

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Testimony

I was supposed to speak yesterday at MOPS for our "Tea and Testimony" meeting. I was really looking forward to it, as nervous as I was about it. I had never given my testimony. Never ever! But for the first time in 3 years, I caught the bug my boy(s) were passing around. I was in bed sick. I did all that work thinking and praying, writing and practicing, I will share it here.

       I have never done this before, shared my testimony. It took me all my life to realize a testimony does not have to be a huge, dramatic event to bring you to God or a sad story that God brought you through. Growing up that is what a testimony was to me. I always thought my story was boring and not interesting. I’ve been in church since before I was born. I accepted Christ and was baptized at 7. Always been a goody two shoes, who followed Christ. Never thought anyone would want to hear that. Recently God spoke to me and said “Why are you limiting me?” I realized every story is one God writes. They are all unique and special. A testimony is a story of how God is or has worked in you. So here is my story.

 

Three years ago I didn’t know I would be standing here. In a room of wonderful friends, about to be MOPS coordinator with Johnelle next year. A position I am humble and honored to have. Three years ago I was standing in a kindergarten classroom, pregnant.  

The hardest six words I’ve ever said were “I don’t want to teach anymore.” After all teaching is who I was, the only thing I had ever imagined. It was the dream. My first grade year book says “I want to be a teacher, cashier and ballerina.” I accomplished two of those. Guess ballerina will have to wait. Teaching is what I did, who I was. On March 15, 2011 at 9:02 pm I became someone’s mom. I had a feeling rush over me, the second I heard Jack cry. Love. Love. Love. A mother’s love. One that can’t really be described. You know the one I’m talking about. The kind where your heart will explode I love you so. It was in those first few months I finally had a glimpse how much Christ loves us. This unconditional, love you more than life, kind of love. And what’s even more amazing – he loves us even more than that!

It was when Jack was born God started to move in my heart. He was forming a new dream, a new path. I had 12 weeks of maternity leave and my last day landed exactly on the last day of school. I never went back to work that year.

I had 5 months of baby bliss.
5 months to start forgetting.
5 months to see a new normal.
5 months long enough to realize I wanted to stay home.
5 months to think about how much I disliked teaching.
5 months to realize it wasn’t worth it.
5 months to decide I wanted to quit.

Wait what? Quit? Not teach, it’s not that simple. I can’t just quit. Not going back the next year wasn’t an option. I had to. So come August, I went back.

Trusting – Proverbs 3:5 “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding”

I heard the typical “You will be glad to go back” “You will want adult interaction” “It’s hard but it will get easier”  Blah, blah, blah.

I went back. Crying and heartbroken, I left Jack with my mom. The absolute best place he could be. I was wrapped up in beginning of the year craziness. In kindergarten there is a lot of that! Once things settled down I realized how much my heart ached. Every day it got worse. It never got easier, only harder. It felt as if my heart was ripped out and left with Jack. I cried every Sunday as I rocked him to sleep. Not only did I miss my Jack I had the worst year teaching in all of my 7 years. I had some rough times with other teachers. Children that made me want to walk out every day. Many mornings I sat in my car in front of the school debating driving off. How bad would it really be to just leave? It is by the grace of God I never did. God gave me a strength I didn’t know possible.

“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” Phil 4:13

I was becoming someone I hated. I was rude, short tempered, insincere, and hateful. It was a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad year.

God was pulling, tugging, screaming at me that this was not what he had in store for me any longer. He had a new plan. I was so afraid to admit it, especially to myself. Then one random day in October, I was talking to my husband and blurted out with tears “I don’t want to teach anymore!” Fear overwhelmed me, not knowing what he would say. And he said “I know.” I went on exclaiming, blabbering and crying “I want to be home. I’m miserable. I can’t do it anymore.” And he simply said “I know.”

I know? That’s it? No fight, no discussion, no argument. Honestly I shouldn’t have expected anything else from him. He’s always been there and so understanding. He next said “Do you want to quit now? Yes! But I couldn’t do that. God clearly had been at work in him too.

We made some changes and at the end of the year, I resigned. Scariest signature I have ever signed. Scariest and best decision I have ever made. What a relief!

I have never doubted my decision. I have often wondered how what you once dreamed about becomes a nightmare and a new dream is born. People often ask if I miss it? Will I go back? That’s a big NO. I wonder what God has in store for the future but He is always working and has a path already in motion until then I will enjoy the present.

I am thankful for that terrible, horrible, no good, very bad year of teaching. I have no doubt where I’m supposed to be. If I hadn’t gone through it I may doubt or wonder what if. I also know teaching prepared me for being a mom.

Since this life altering change to stay home, we have moved, built stronger relationships, we have been blessed with another beautiful baby boy, my little one, my Reed. Every day I am thankful I don’t miss a moment of his. I treasure each one, feeling a little guilty I missed so much of Jack’s.

I have joined VBS planning committee, I am in charge of Preschool Story Hour and I joined MOPS leadership. Sometimes I wonder how I had to time to work.

A few weeks back I mentioned to Tina I had an interest in coordinator someday, like a couple years from now. But 2 days later, suddenly someday became now. I am excited and honored for this new journey. I am so happy to share it with Johnelle.

Three years ago I had no idea our lives would be turned upside down. God did. God has a plan. He loves us so much. He has put things in my life I never expected or dreamed of.
“For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11

I will close with my favorite poem by Robert Frost.
The Road Not Taken

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear,
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

 

 

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Hello there....its confession time

Its been awhile since I've posted, for a couple reasons. One, this having more than kid thing, is hard. I feel like I get more scattered brained everyday. Pretty sure I will never find a new normal or perhaps chaos is the new normal. I may get one to do something but not the other. And I'm exhausted and most days I'm happy both boys are asleep, toys put away and dishes put away ( I hate a full sink, but I love to wash dishes) Guess that works out nice. Two, I've been reading way TOO many blogs on the whole mommy wars, and this mommy vs. this mommy and its ridiculous. You know which ones I'm talking about, the ones where mommies who do such and such are doing too much and making other moms feel bad. Or the ones where they make you feel bad for doing creative things with your kid because they don't. Funny how that is backwards. So I stepped back from the blogging world, I didn't want to get caught up in that junk or make anyone feel bad or think Crystal is showing off by doing that or Crystal should spend her time doing this with her boys. One of those blogs I read recently had a line that resonated with me "Moms don't judge other moms, they criticize". So true, I feel like I'm constantly be watched and criticized by other moms, about everything.  BUT I'm tired of all of that. I forgot why I started this blog and don't care about all that stuff. Truth is, moms do the best they can for their kids. What's good for one is not for another. So basically what my family needs is different than yours, you take care of yours and I will take care of mine. What I enjoy doing with my kids is different than yours. God made us that way. We're each unique and wonderful in our ways. We are also weak in our ways. We are to be there and hold each other up and ask for help when you need it. I decided I needed to get back to why I started this blog- I LOVE to write and I LOVE being home with my boys. So I share my ideas and fun we have together for the purpose of sharing and that's it. Not to show off. Certainly not a look at me. If you know me well then you know I hate attention, seriously hate it. This is just for me to share how we have fun and learn.

Here's some facts about me, simple truths about who I am:

1. I LOVE being a mommy. More than anything I've ever done. I love being a mommy to boys. There is no doubt God gave me boys for a reason. I hate the idea of make up, dolls, princesses, drama, pink, barbies, so I know that's why I have boys .Give me mud pies and tractors over barbies and clothes any day.
2. I hated teaching, yep I said it. It obviously wasn't for me. Staying home brings me more joy than you can imagine. Sure we have a rough day every once in awhile but I wouldn't trade it. I love the day to day that probably bores most people. I love teaching my boys though. Being a teacher made me a better mommy, that's what I take away from that.
3. I'm an introvert, big time! It used to be labeled as shy, but that is far from the truth. I will speak in front of people, I'm actually in several leadership roles and about to embark on a huge one! I hate crowds, I hate being out all the time. I am exhausted when I have to be around lots of people for a long time. I need alone time often. Like no one in the room at all. I hate being pointed out. I hate for people to tell me to speak up. I don't speak out often, and only do when I feel its something important. If you overlook that when I do speak up then you probably hurt my feelings. I could go on and on about this.
4. Negative people and me can't be friends. You know those kind, when you say something wonderful and happy, and they reply instantly with what could go wrong. Yeah they irritate me to no end. I was around that so much in the teaching world that I want away from it. I don't mean the occasional complaint or vent ( I have many wonderful friends ,who let me do both of those), the ones that make you instantly feel awful about something nice.
5. Jman is not starting school. At least for another year. Maybe not until kinder. I don't feel it necessary and I want him to enjoy the fun of learning and play together. Our backyard is a great classroom. If you want to know more or wonder why I don't want him in school, just ask.
6. I am a Montessori believer, and that is our approach around here .We've already naturally done most things with that philosophy and we are going to adapt a little more.
7. I am a pinterest loving momma. Yes I do most of the things I pin. I completely enjoy all the creative things on there. We love sensory bins, and are always busy with one. I love homemade playdough. It takes less time than the drive to the store. I made 12 containers for less than 3 bucks and its not near as sticky as regular.
8. I actually hate to cook. I do it, I feel like I do it well, but I hate it. I hate the mess, the shopping, the prepping, then the cleaning. I do it 5 nights a week, but hate it.
9. I am horrible at baking. Like disaster zone. If its supposed to look a certain way it wont. I can handle cupcakes, they're little. This is the best cake I've ever made. You want to know why, because I got to destroy it, actually it fell apart before I got to destroy it. So it was self destructive. I just slapped the icing and candy on it.

10.I love throwing birthday parties. I go all out. I know people find it a waste. But I want birthdays to be special. Its one day a year, spoil away. So that's what I do. I love the themes, making the decorations, the special moments, the clever food ideas. Its all wonderful. When my child goes to bed on his birthday I want it to be the best day yet.

11. I am not perfect, I am good at somethings, and horrible at others. You are probably great at things that I stink at. That's why God made us all different. If we were the same, we would be boring. Embrace your differences and your talents. Be proud of them, use them to bring glory to God, and be able to admit where you struggle and fail.
12. A lot of times I write a blog to get out my thought and then delete it. So we'll see if this is another one of those. Sometimes I don't post it to FB, so if you don't want to miss one, you should subscribe to the email list :)

Thanks for listening. I have to go there's an ankle biter at my feet, and a balloon stuck in the fan. Pin It