Hello there....its confession time

Its been awhile since I've posted, for a couple reasons. One, this having more than kid thing, is hard. I feel like I get more scattered brained everyday. Pretty sure I will never find a new normal or perhaps chaos is the new normal. I may get one to do something but not the other. And I'm exhausted and most days I'm happy both boys are asleep, toys put away and dishes put away ( I hate a full sink, but I love to wash dishes) Guess that works out nice. Two, I've been reading way TOO many blogs on the whole mommy wars, and this mommy vs. this mommy and its ridiculous. You know which ones I'm talking about, the ones where mommies who do such and such are doing too much and making other moms feel bad. Or the ones where they make you feel bad for doing creative things with your kid because they don't. Funny how that is backwards. So I stepped back from the blogging world, I didn't want to get caught up in that junk or make anyone feel bad or think Crystal is showing off by doing that or Crystal should spend her time doing this with her boys. One of those blogs I read recently had a line that resonated with me "Moms don't judge other moms, they criticize". So true, I feel like I'm constantly be watched and criticized by other moms, about everything.  BUT I'm tired of all of that. I forgot why I started this blog and don't care about all that stuff. Truth is, moms do the best they can for their kids. What's good for one is not for another. So basically what my family needs is different than yours, you take care of yours and I will take care of mine. What I enjoy doing with my kids is different than yours. God made us that way. We're each unique and wonderful in our ways. We are also weak in our ways. We are to be there and hold each other up and ask for help when you need it. I decided I needed to get back to why I started this blog- I LOVE to write and I LOVE being home with my boys. So I share my ideas and fun we have together for the purpose of sharing and that's it. Not to show off. Certainly not a look at me. If you know me well then you know I hate attention, seriously hate it. This is just for me to share how we have fun and learn.

Here's some facts about me, simple truths about who I am:

1. I LOVE being a mommy. More than anything I've ever done. I love being a mommy to boys. There is no doubt God gave me boys for a reason. I hate the idea of make up, dolls, princesses, drama, pink, barbies, so I know that's why I have boys .Give me mud pies and tractors over barbies and clothes any day.
2. I hated teaching, yep I said it. It obviously wasn't for me. Staying home brings me more joy than you can imagine. Sure we have a rough day every once in awhile but I wouldn't trade it. I love the day to day that probably bores most people. I love teaching my boys though. Being a teacher made me a better mommy, that's what I take away from that.
3. I'm an introvert, big time! It used to be labeled as shy, but that is far from the truth. I will speak in front of people, I'm actually in several leadership roles and about to embark on a huge one! I hate crowds, I hate being out all the time. I am exhausted when I have to be around lots of people for a long time. I need alone time often. Like no one in the room at all. I hate being pointed out. I hate for people to tell me to speak up. I don't speak out often, and only do when I feel its something important. If you overlook that when I do speak up then you probably hurt my feelings. I could go on and on about this.
4. Negative people and me can't be friends. You know those kind, when you say something wonderful and happy, and they reply instantly with what could go wrong. Yeah they irritate me to no end. I was around that so much in the teaching world that I want away from it. I don't mean the occasional complaint or vent ( I have many wonderful friends ,who let me do both of those), the ones that make you instantly feel awful about something nice.
5. Jman is not starting school. At least for another year. Maybe not until kinder. I don't feel it necessary and I want him to enjoy the fun of learning and play together. Our backyard is a great classroom. If you want to know more or wonder why I don't want him in school, just ask.
6. I am a Montessori believer, and that is our approach around here .We've already naturally done most things with that philosophy and we are going to adapt a little more.
7. I am a pinterest loving momma. Yes I do most of the things I pin. I completely enjoy all the creative things on there. We love sensory bins, and are always busy with one. I love homemade playdough. It takes less time than the drive to the store. I made 12 containers for less than 3 bucks and its not near as sticky as regular.
8. I actually hate to cook. I do it, I feel like I do it well, but I hate it. I hate the mess, the shopping, the prepping, then the cleaning. I do it 5 nights a week, but hate it.
9. I am horrible at baking. Like disaster zone. If its supposed to look a certain way it wont. I can handle cupcakes, they're little. This is the best cake I've ever made. You want to know why, because I got to destroy it, actually it fell apart before I got to destroy it. So it was self destructive. I just slapped the icing and candy on it.

10.I love throwing birthday parties. I go all out. I know people find it a waste. But I want birthdays to be special. Its one day a year, spoil away. So that's what I do. I love the themes, making the decorations, the special moments, the clever food ideas. Its all wonderful. When my child goes to bed on his birthday I want it to be the best day yet.

11. I am not perfect, I am good at somethings, and horrible at others. You are probably great at things that I stink at. That's why God made us all different. If we were the same, we would be boring. Embrace your differences and your talents. Be proud of them, use them to bring glory to God, and be able to admit where you struggle and fail.
12. A lot of times I write a blog to get out my thought and then delete it. So we'll see if this is another one of those. Sometimes I don't post it to FB, so if you don't want to miss one, you should subscribe to the email list :)

Thanks for listening. I have to go there's an ankle biter at my feet, and a balloon stuck in the fan.