Yesterday was one of those days I felt awful as a mom. Just flat out poopy. Excuse the word, but I live in the world of a budding two year old and after a MOPs meeting on expressing your feelings poopy is the exact word. Pretty much the moment we got up it was rough. Mostly I didn't sleep well and all of sudden felt a rush of overwhelming obligations and sadly took it out on Jman. I woke up yesterday realizing with the upcoming market day, Js birthday, VBS committee and the coming of our precious baby 2 I have a lot on my plate and well it got to me and in a minute I went straight to poopy mommy. And my poor little guy didn't deserve it and that one minute ruined my day. I felt so awful that I let my emotions get the better of me. Honestly I'm going to blame hormones. I hate them. I hate not being in control, and sadly those suckers get the best of you. Thankfully children are much more forgiving and forgetting than any adults I know. They almost forget as quick as a dog. So that one minute of the day put me in a funk for the rest of the day.
I also left MOPs feeling like I'm about to destroy Jman's world by having another baby. I got the impression that my sweet, funny, cutest kid ever is going to turn into a jealous monster that hates me and Cappie. And I just kept thinking "what am I about to do?" I'm sure that was not the intent of the meeting. But thats what I left with- feeling more poopy! I remember how awful people made me feel before Jman all their comments "just wait til the baby comes, you will never sleep, it's just so hard" blah blah blah. Things you don't want to hear. Now I hear "oh with two kids you'll never do that again, they're going to fight all the time" more blah blah blah!! Not helping anything. It makes me want to hide in hole for awhile and have fun with my Jman.
Which is what we did today. Stay in and have fun, which included jumping on the couch. Because I honestly it doesn't bother me that he jumps on the couch! So jump away Jman before I destroy your little world.
Ok poopy rant over.
You are an awesome mom! Your kids are not going to fight all the time and Jmam isn't going to feel that anything is ruined. I know this because I know you. You are teaching Jman to be loving and helpful and he's already great at both. Having a second kid will bring new challenges, but you will handle it with the same grace and patient you've shown with Jman. Plus, you have Jesus and friends who love you very much to help you however we can.
ReplyDeleteThank you Christie. That means a lot. :)
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